Welcome back to Palace Daughter blog. I hope the team has been making a lot of sense by treating topics varying from lessons about what makes masculinity really remarkable to clarifying some misunderstanding about dating to addressing love and the hunger that comes with it and lots more.
… And I saw a group of people, friends and well-wishers. Seem like a surprise is about to happen here. Music playing at the background and the man deeped his hands into his pocket and brought out a purple box as he knelt on one of his knees as he said, “Will you marry me?” and everyone around chorused, “say yes, say yes, say yes”.
So my question here is, “Does every proposal deserve a Yes?”
Personally, my answer is “No”.
Why is it that in this part of the world we make all proposal look acceptable?
Why is it that in this part of the world, we make proposal look like a release from prison or bondage?
Personally, I believe a proposal question should be question for questions. It does not have to be a direct question and it’s either you have asked this questions long ago and got satisfying answers or you ask them as the proposal question is also coming.
It is important to note that ladies are so carried away with the euphoria of I am engaged that they forget the things that matters and are valuable. They ignore the questions they should ask themselves and the soon to be spouse. So here I will highlight questions, you should or should have asked yourself/ soon to be spouse before agreeing to any proposal. I would be discussing crucial questions that needs to be answered before you say I do.
These are the Questions you need to ask yourself
- Do I know him well enough? Yes. Do you know him well enough? Is it all about phone conversations, skyping or personal conversation, dialogue? How real is this person when around you? How real are you when around this person? Do you hold back from this person or does this person hold back from you? This is essential. Again, do you know deep things about this person? Like childhood experience, how does this person interpret and see life? Is he emotionally and mentally stable? Does he have self-control? Is he reliable?
- Are we compatible? Are you compatible in terms of value and health? For example? Is he the type that spends without budgeting or believes in impulse buying why you don’t? Or the other way round. Is he AS and you are also AS? What are the consequences? Do you both believe in integrity? And lot more.
- Is he responsible? (Can he protect, preside and provide?) Does he have a stable job? , Does he abuse you? (Emotionally, physically and lot more) You will be amazed that some ladies are going through abuse in their relationships and will still say yes, when he proposes. Chai. Too bad. Again, ask if he can protect rather than beat you.
- Is he born again? This question can only be asked by a lady who is also born again. Ask yourself, is he born again? When? Is he exhibiting the fruits of being born again? SEE ALSO:17 QUESTIONS TO ASK BEFORE YOU SAY I DO
These are the questions he must have provided answers to before you say yes
- Ask him when he wants to marry you: Personally, I feel ashamed for ladies who accept proposals without timelines. Like seriously? Who does that? It’s not a sign of desperation like many would think when you ask this question, “When do you want to marry me”. You only want to know if your timelines are congruent.
- Ask him why you: Ask him why he has chosen you among numerous ladies on earth. You will be surprised at his answer. Sometimes ago, some men told me why they married their wives and I was deeply amazed at their responses. I was a little mortified also. One told me he married his wife because of children. That he loves children. Does that mean, the wife is a baby making factory? Another told me he married his wife because she is fruitful? What if she seizes to be fruitful? There would be problem. So the love seizes once all you want from the woman is unachievable. Personally, I see all these answers as “selfish”. I believe the answers should be more of “I married my wife because she is intelligent”, “I married my wife because she is the best companion I could ever have on earth”. “I married my wife because I want us to achieve God’s purpose for our lives together”. “I married my wife because she is my best friend and I want the relationship to continue till eternity on a deeper level”. All these answers are about personality. A man should love a woman more for who she is than what he can take from her or what she can give him.
- Ask him who his influences are: It will daze you that some men don’t have mentors, they will even tell you that they don’t have mentors and that God is their mentor. Hmmm. I laugh in Spanish. Listen, any man who cannot submit to man that he sees, can’t submit to God and therefore, should not expect submission from any woman. If he does not have influences, people who can caution him when he is erring. Think twice.
- Ask him where he is going: He should be able to define his purpose on earth for you with precision and you should know if you can align or not. If you can, fine and if you can’t, think twice. I have heard of men who frowned at their women advancing their education or even becoming entrepreneurs. If you are in that situation, have a rethink. Never forget that there are people who will accept you for who you are. Marriage should not starve you of your dream, purpose and passion rather it should make it more beautiful.
Note: This post was specially crafted for single people. If you are married and you feel you failed to ask some of these questions. I emphatize. All you can do now is share with single people, who can benefit. Thanks for reading and sharing. Auvoir.